Millions of writers have dreams of getting published. But, sometimes you have to wonder why someone chooses to write and publish a book that makes a mockery of himself and the book world.
I am talking about a “book” — and I use the term loosely — called A Book For An Asshole.
Yes, this book sells on Amazon for $5.52. It is all of 48 unnumbered pages, including four blanks in the back and a cover page upfront. It doesn’t even have a copyright page, an author biography, or any testimonials. There is just a one-sentence description of the book on the back cover that not so eloquently says: “A book of inspirational quotes to remind you that you are, indeed, an asshole!”
I discovered the book when my teen-age daughter bought it as a joke to send to her older, teen brother for his birthday. It just goes to show that any book could find a buyer.
A humor book that uses foul language is nothing new and could sell well. I like comedy and am fine with a trashy-but-fun book. This is not that.
It has one “joke” per page, each a sentence or two long, and most are horribly not funny. Short on comedy and length, it simply appears to be a book written in anger for people who want to use it to tell someone they are an ass.
This piece of crap is a dud. But it should tell authors three things:
* Anything can sell once it exists, so get your book out there in the market.
* Nothing is too stupid or too short to be called a book.
* Write for the existing marketplace. There are plenty of a-holes out there — and many people, as a gag or convenient way to convey a message who will buy the book.
Still, I found a few things that had some punch, so does that mean all is forgiven? No! But I will share my faves:
“You are the reason the gene pool needs a lifeguard.”
“Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.”
“What language are you speaking? Because it sounds like bullshit.”
What will be the sequel or spin-off? How To Be A Dumb Bastard? A Book For Fat F**ks? A Book To Being A Mean Bully? A Book For A Slutty Ho’? Oh, wait, when I looked up the author, he did in fact have other books, including ones using in the title, the C word, D word, and T word. Just complete garbage.
These kind of books must infuriate true writers who take their craft seriously. Here comes some jerk who slops together a book in five minutes and creates a whole series built on boring insults. This is what sells, while people who draft 400-page novels or serious books struggle to get published or garner book sales.
It seems that Americans always embrace the familiar and animalistic — violence, insults, sex, and stupidity. It shows in our television viewing and in our book-buying habits. We are all guilty of it to a degree, but books like this easily infuriate the literati.
Folks, this author is laughing at you, but let it serve as a challenge or reminder to you — maybe you don’t need to take your writing so seriously. Perhaps you put too much pressure on yourself to achieve a high standard. This clown decidedly went the other way. He sees that the ruder, cruder, dumber, and silly stuff sells. That is not a license for you to just trash-curse your way to a best-seller, but it should give you pause.
In the end, stay true to writing to a standard that you believe in, but have no fear if you lack standards. It may just be a successful formula.
Brian Feinblum, the founder of this award-winning blog, can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org He is available to help authors promote their story, sell their book, and grow their brand. He has over 30 years of experience in successfully helping thousands of authors in all genres. Let him be your advocate, teacher, and motivator!
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Brian Feinblum should be followed on Twitter @theprexpert. This is copyrighted by BookMarketingBuzzBlog ©2023. Born and raised in Brooklyn, he now resides in Westchester with his wife, two kids, and Ferris, a black lab rescue dog. His writings are often featured in The Writer and IBPA’s The Independent. This award-winning blog has generated over 3.2 million pageviews. With 4,400+ posts over the past decade, it was named one of the best book marketing blogs by BookBaby http://blog.bookbaby.com/2013/09/the-best-book-marketing-blogs and recognized by Feedspot in 2021 and 2018 as one of the top book marketing blogs. It was also named by WinningWriters.com as a “best resource.” For the past three decades, including 21 years as the head of marketing for the nation’s largest book publicity firm, and two jobs at two independent presses, Brian has worked with many first-time, self-published, authors of all genres, right along with best-selling authors and celebrities such as: Dr. Ruth, Mark Victor Hansen, Joseph Finder, Katherine Spurway, Neil Rackham, Harvey Mackay, Ken Blanchard, Stephen Covey, Warren Adler, Cindy Adams, Susan RoAne, Jeff Foxworthy, Seth Godin, and Henry Winkler. He recently hosted a panel on book publicity for Book Expo America, and has spoken at ASJA, IBPA, Sarah Lawrence College, Nonfiction Writers Association, Cape Cod Writers Association, Willamette (Portland) Writers Association, and Connecticut Authors and Publishers Association. His letters-to-the-editor have been published in The Wall Street Journal, USA Today, New York Post, NY Daily News, Newsday, The Journal News (Westchester) and The Washington Post. He has been featured in The Sun Sentinel and Miami Herald. For more information, please consult: linkedin.com/in/brianfeinblum.