Greetings, Happy Readers! This week’s PPCChat session was an interesting one. Experts discussed the most honest tag lines for all PPC platforms, including Google Ads, Facebook, Microsoft Advertising, LinkedIn, Twitter, and others. Here is the screencap of the discussion which was hosted by Julie F Bacchini.

Q1: If Google Ads had an honest tag line, what would it be?

Stealing your ad spend in the name of “privacy” @hamboy_PPC

“Here for the money” Google Ads “Our persistence is only acceptable because we are a company” Google Ads “You can trust us. @AmaliaEFowler

Google Ads… “You’ll take what we give you and like it.” “We are not a monopoly, but really what other choice do you have?” @NeptuneMoon

That’s us. yeah that’s us too. and that one. it’s all us. @JuliaVyse

“It’s a YouTube Pitch” @MelSearchThing

Google Ads – found you. comforting isn’t it? ISNT IT. @JuliaVyse

“Just put in your credit card and we will do the rest!” “Match types are just a term we use to make you feel better. We are going to do what we want anyway” @lchasse

Welcome to Hotel Google, you can check out anytime, but you can’t ever leave (we have all your data and market share). @navahf

Listen to our inexperienced sales reps tell you how to manage your accounts, even though they have zero experience managing budgets and just work from our script where we are trying to increase share holder profits for this quarter. P.S. we will call 10x per day. @lchasse

“Google Ads is the worst ads platform – except for all the others you’ve tried.” @eben_lowy

I will say that since @GinnyMarvin joined #google, I’ve felt a lot better about the transparency on choices and timeframe to come up with game plans. I think a lot of the good that’s come about in H2 2021 is due to her heroism. @navahf

“Raising Budgets Since Y2K” @PPCKirk

We use to fight against “The Man” and status quo… now we have become it. @duanebrown

Google Ads : Advertise blindfolded @jithinsee

“Just raise your budget! @Im_DigitALli

Don’t trust us! @_treatyy

Q2: If Facebook Ads had an honest tagline, what would it be?

Instead of listening to feedback, we change our UI. @AmaliaEFowler

I shouldn’t know this personal information about you but here we are. @_treatyy

Support? Nah, we don’t want to pay people to do that. You are on your own, just deal with it. @lchasse

Facebook Ads: “We are totally not creeping on you… much” “Apple is being mean to us – please don’t reduce your budgets.” @NeptuneMoon

“we’re sorry, your request cannot be completed at this time, please try again later” @PPCKirk

When the sun dies, we will shine. Where you end, we begin. connecting, advocating, and sharing. from now, until the End. Of. TIME. @JuliaVyse

“Welcome to whose ad platform is it anyway, where the rules are made up, and the conversions don’t matter” Also Facebook: “You get stockholm syndrome, and you get it….everyone gets stokholm syndrome!” @navahf

We make an absolute fortune selling your personal data, so thank you. @lchasse

We have always been evil, didn’t you see our actions? @duanebrown

Facebook’s data policies grind my gears more than Google’s but I’ve come to accept it as par for the course (along with automatic ad disapprovals). I wish I could quit the network, but can’t due to the objective value I see brands get from it. @navahf

Come for the awful ad manager UI, stay for the ever-changing audience targeting rules. @SquarelyDigital

We literally do not care about you, as human beings, but never stop spending. @JonKagan

Q3: If Microsoft Ads had an honest tagline, what would it be?

Microsoft Ads “We’re just happy to be in the conversation” @NeptuneMoon

Hey, it’s been a while. We exist. we missed you!!! @JuliaVyse

Google? is that you? @_treatyy

“Wholesome and innovative solutions no one uses” I’m actually really glad folks seem to be shifting more to @MSFTAdvertising – they’ve been such heroes over the past few quarters. @navahf

Microsoft is honoured to even share the stage with such outstanding peers. Just being mentioned is an honour @JuliaVyse

Import Your Google Ads Campaigns Today @_RileyDuncan

Well Google did it, so why can’t we? “Innovating online advertising since…. sorry cannot say that with a straight face. We just copy Google and let them take the blame. @lchasse

We have everything you need, except search volume @AmaliaEFowler

Didn’t like that Google update? Give us 2 months and you can not like it here, as well @selley2134

Between their robust feed based ad solutions, the audience network, much better ad approval rates and an actual certification for mindful marketing, #MicrosoftAds actually cares – yet still struggles with size perceptions. @navahf

We are small but make you profitable… shopping ads still a hot mess. @duanebrown

Yes, they often “copy” Google – but real performance gains are when you honor Microsoft Ads specific rules of engagement. Also, I’m in love with @msftClarity and how much that is going to move the needle for brands baking CRO into their #ppc efforts. @navahf

“we’re small, mighty, and old rich people in the Southeast love us” @JonKagan

Q4: If LinkedIn Ads had an honest tagline, what would it be?

LinkedIn Advertising You’re an afterthought @AmaliaEFowler

Find a job give us your money. @_treatyy

LinkedIn Ads: “You want the good targeting? Pay up.” “The only platform that actually likes B2B advertisers.” @NeptuneMoon

What are you gonna do, advertise on Indeed? @JuliaVyse

LinkedIn Advertising “Say, that’s a nice CPC you got there. Lemme multiply it by a thousand.” @markbclicky

LinkedIn: Executive is the new luxury. find audiences who can afford you. @JuliaVyse

“You must spend at least 10K to ride this ride. Plebes need not apply.” @navahf

“I wish people were complaining about us as much as they do Google, at least that would mean we are making money” “Seriously, what other platform can you target B2B like we can” “Sigh, yes you can advertise on LinkedIn” @lchasse

LinkedIn works magic if you have budget – but god help you if you try to test unproven creative on their hyper targeted and expensive network. @navahf

We’ve Got Job Title Targeting – Hope You’re Willing to Pay For It! @_RileyDuncan

We are still, owned by Big M and we are not sitting on the sidelines anymore. @duanebrown

Are you a recruiter or project management tool? No? Then don’t bother with us. @JonKagan

LinkedIn Ads “Below reporting minimum” (Maybe it’s just me …) @SquarelyDigital

Q5: If Twitter Ads had an honest tagline, what would it be?

Twitter Ads “Did you know you can target hashtags but not other things you’d actually like to target?” @NeptuneMoon

Keep causing arguments with people on your feed. @_treatyy

Twitter – Join for the conversation, stay for the stripped out targeting! @JuliaVyse

“We’ve gone 18 days without a platform meltdown – love us!” “We know you could just do this organically, but we want to be relevant in the paid space too…so please give us your money @navahf

Twitter – where not editing tweets has effectively prevented lies and misinformation forever, next question @JuliaVyse

We have no identity of our own but take the best parts of everyone else’s stuff and try to make it out own. @AmaliaEFowler

Yeah, we still have an ad platform. @duanebrown

Apple’s privacy changes did not impact us much, well mostly because we do not have much to impact….@lchasse

I guess we should try and make money somehow, so….ads anyone? @_RileyDuncan

If you want consistency because we will never grow or shrink or change. Also, if you like hearing people complain, come join us. @JonKagan

Facebook disapproving your conspiracy Ads? We let any realtor make scientific claims… join us. @selley2134

Q6: If TikTok Ads had an honest tagline, what would it be?

TikTok Ads “All the cool kids are advertising here.” @NeptuneMoon

Appropriate content only! Just kidding! We don’t care! @_treatyy

“If Facebook can get away with it, why not us?” *to be read in the “why not zoidberg” voice* @navahf

TikTok – your new favourite spyware….SOciAl nEtwORk. We’re a social network. really. no for real. @JuliaVyse

TikTok – the only thing that can stop facebook is something orders of magnitude worse than facebook. @JuliaVyse

“You know you want to!” “Nobody really cares about privacy these days, right? (especially if they get to watch cat and dog videos)” @lchasse

Hey, we’re the less risky SnapChat @JonKagan

“So cool that even advertisers 25+ are jumping on board! (Mostly because they have to, but that’s okay…) @Im_DigitALli

You didn’t see us coming… now we taking down big blue. @duanebrown

Q7: If Snapchat Ads had an honest tagline, what would it be?

Snapchat – remember us? *deletes after 24hrs* @JuliaVyse

We work hard so you can be sneaky. @_treatyy

Snapchat Ads “TikTok is spyware.” @NeptuneMoon

Better advertise with us quick, we probably won’t be around that long. @lchasse

I wish I had feelings but sadly haven’t had a good customer fit for Snapchat Ads…oh wait @navahf

We got kids here @JonKagan

We are changing the game and we are playing chess… not checkers. @duanebrown

Q8: If Pinterest Ads had an honest tagline, what would it be?

Pinterest – no, etsy is something else. @JuliaVyse

You’ll never find a better distraction. @_treatyy

Pinterest Ads “Because moms by a lot of stuff” @NeptuneMoon

“It’s always the quiet ones” Pinterest has actually been great for some of my clients who struggled with Facebook ad quality. Can be interesting if you approach it in a targeted way! @navahf

We are that site that everyone forgets about, but is usually the top of the organic sources of traffic for retailers, so why not give us a shot? @lchasse

Women 25-40 with money, we have them here @JonKagan

Have to make an account to see anything @duanebrown

Q9: Any platforms I missed that you want to do a tagline for today?

Match Media – when your heart is open, and you’re bravely being vulnerable, share a promo code. @JuliaVyse

We created self-comparison! @_treatyy

Reddit Ads “Tread carefully – our users will not hold back if they think you suck in any way, shape or form.” @NeptuneMoon

#Quora: Own your market by shaping the questions your prospects ask. #Reddit: Karma is better than quality score, right? #Waze: We’re actually useful but everyone drives by us #Amazon: Stop kidding yourself – just hand over 70% of your profit. @navahf

PPCChat Participants

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